Selfishly, for the sake of the kids, there's no one I'd rather see trying (however successfully) to help them than you. Whether that's worth you having to wake up in hell every day, not so sure! But trust your hell-ROI assessment more than most. Thanks for writing this and giving a reality check to the naive little voice in my head that starts chirping when I read about the teacher shortages, please continue to process the experience here and take our encouragements to heart!
I didn't expect to read something like this when I saw a new post, but that makes your message much more meaningful, I think. Changing "we" to "I" makes a vast difference. This sounds like a miserable situation, and I'm sorry you're experiencing it. As far as commiserating via the internet remains a possibility, I'd like to engage in it. My college experience has been abysmally bad, far, far worse than I could possibly have imagined. A crumbling, top-heavy administration and students who are emotionally calcified and intellectually destitute leave very little opportunity for any sort of meaningful evangelization, be it spiritual, academic, or otherwise.
I've met and talked with people very much like the Section 2/3 students you described. There really isn't much to be said beyond that. Trying to speak up, trying to help, trying to withstand their scorn, and trying to keep your mouth shut are all depressingly inadequate options, especially when anti-intellectualism runs rampant. Couple that with an increasingly popular trend amongst the student body to pledge corporate devotion to the integrity of preconceived ideology, and teaching or even speaking as an equal becomes a looming obstacle of near-insurmountable difficulty.
I can't really speak for anyone else who may read this, but I see nothing shameful in your writing. If anything, it's goddamn cathartic. The cycle of moral decay, institutional corruption within academia, and mean acerbity within the student body, catalyzed by an ever-plummeting standard for scholarly-no, just *human*-integrity, is a chimera, fusing together the soporific, brutish laziness and calculated cruelty of man in a nauseating union that even the most reserved and genteel of honest agnostic scholars would claim teeters upon the brink of godlessness. Seeing someone acknowledge the repulsive inner workings of what's supposed to be a bastion of intelligentsia and human excellence is immensely gratifying (and even if the institution in question is only a high school, this is, after all, where the young are committed to adulthood, so the dramatic language feels appropriate).
To a certain extent, it's the knowledge that the flippant anger and disdain students practice is largely done from a lack of understanding that makes the actions sting. We're all created with *like* essential natures; witnessing the downfall of someone who could have been noble but squandered their ability because they didn't know what they were doing is difficult to watch, and it's even harder when any attempts to help are misinterpreted or blatantly rejected.
I wish I could offer advice, but I'm in a similar situation, and not really sure how to deal with it either. If it helps, know that I know well and am currently living through a similar experience to those of the interested students you've described (albeit in college), and that I don't think you're to blame for anything in this situation. Your writing has actually helped me to work through some difficult times; I've lost count of how many times I've read your article "Beneath the Pavement" after a terrible day, and the image of Technology Nun conjured in "Metaphorically Terrifying" has lingered in my mind since you shared it, appearing every time I encounter a cringeworthy attempt to impose a metaphor onto a subject in which metaphor definitely doesn't belong.
Whatever you decide to do, whether at work or here on Substack, I'm sure that there is someone who will be helped. Please, at least take solace in that; it is of vital importance. As for the naysaying members of the populace . . . offer what you've got. If they won't take it, fuck 'em. Learning is a two-way discipline, and if you peel away as much of the intermediate detritus preventing clear communication as possible, it'll still be up to the student to bridge the gap. God bless both you and your students; He knows everyone needs it. It certainly sounds as if you're putting in all you've got, so external authority isn't a bad thing to appeal to, I guess.
You're not failing your students — the system has been designed in such a way that success is an aberration. To spin out for a moment....it's a bit remarkable that there was a flash of a moment during the pandemic when it looked like there would be a serious reconsideration about how we work and how we educate (and how we live). Only for the pandemic to end and corporations rushing to pull employees back into offices, politicians banning books, schools fighting for resources, and everyone battling to be paid a wage that is livable as the cost of living skyrocketed. Capitalism is a series of habits and reflexes that don't do well with adjustment. I can only imagine what you're experiencing is due to a domino effect of changes — low staffing, terrible resources, zero social support — within a framework that demands that how things are done remain static. I guess what I'm trying to say is try not to take it all on your shoulders; your care for your students is wonderful, but don't let it be at the expense of your own wellbeing.
I think you're doing a noble thing. All any of us can hope to do is our best, even if circumstances mean that doing our best doesn't give anything near the results we want. And it sounds like you're doing your best - maybe more than that. Good on you. Take care.
I’m almost speechless. I have great admiration for you on many levels and I truly wish I could help. Teaching at university is awesome, but teaching primary or even high school would scare me shitless. So I certainly feel you. I can only hope you make it out alive (not to mention sane). Good luck!
Selfishly, for the sake of the kids, there's no one I'd rather see trying (however successfully) to help them than you. Whether that's worth you having to wake up in hell every day, not so sure! But trust your hell-ROI assessment more than most. Thanks for writing this and giving a reality check to the naive little voice in my head that starts chirping when I read about the teacher shortages, please continue to process the experience here and take our encouragements to heart!
I didn't expect to read something like this when I saw a new post, but that makes your message much more meaningful, I think. Changing "we" to "I" makes a vast difference. This sounds like a miserable situation, and I'm sorry you're experiencing it. As far as commiserating via the internet remains a possibility, I'd like to engage in it. My college experience has been abysmally bad, far, far worse than I could possibly have imagined. A crumbling, top-heavy administration and students who are emotionally calcified and intellectually destitute leave very little opportunity for any sort of meaningful evangelization, be it spiritual, academic, or otherwise.
I've met and talked with people very much like the Section 2/3 students you described. There really isn't much to be said beyond that. Trying to speak up, trying to help, trying to withstand their scorn, and trying to keep your mouth shut are all depressingly inadequate options, especially when anti-intellectualism runs rampant. Couple that with an increasingly popular trend amongst the student body to pledge corporate devotion to the integrity of preconceived ideology, and teaching or even speaking as an equal becomes a looming obstacle of near-insurmountable difficulty.
I can't really speak for anyone else who may read this, but I see nothing shameful in your writing. If anything, it's goddamn cathartic. The cycle of moral decay, institutional corruption within academia, and mean acerbity within the student body, catalyzed by an ever-plummeting standard for scholarly-no, just *human*-integrity, is a chimera, fusing together the soporific, brutish laziness and calculated cruelty of man in a nauseating union that even the most reserved and genteel of honest agnostic scholars would claim teeters upon the brink of godlessness. Seeing someone acknowledge the repulsive inner workings of what's supposed to be a bastion of intelligentsia and human excellence is immensely gratifying (and even if the institution in question is only a high school, this is, after all, where the young are committed to adulthood, so the dramatic language feels appropriate).
To a certain extent, it's the knowledge that the flippant anger and disdain students practice is largely done from a lack of understanding that makes the actions sting. We're all created with *like* essential natures; witnessing the downfall of someone who could have been noble but squandered their ability because they didn't know what they were doing is difficult to watch, and it's even harder when any attempts to help are misinterpreted or blatantly rejected.
I wish I could offer advice, but I'm in a similar situation, and not really sure how to deal with it either. If it helps, know that I know well and am currently living through a similar experience to those of the interested students you've described (albeit in college), and that I don't think you're to blame for anything in this situation. Your writing has actually helped me to work through some difficult times; I've lost count of how many times I've read your article "Beneath the Pavement" after a terrible day, and the image of Technology Nun conjured in "Metaphorically Terrifying" has lingered in my mind since you shared it, appearing every time I encounter a cringeworthy attempt to impose a metaphor onto a subject in which metaphor definitely doesn't belong.
Whatever you decide to do, whether at work or here on Substack, I'm sure that there is someone who will be helped. Please, at least take solace in that; it is of vital importance. As for the naysaying members of the populace . . . offer what you've got. If they won't take it, fuck 'em. Learning is a two-way discipline, and if you peel away as much of the intermediate detritus preventing clear communication as possible, it'll still be up to the student to bridge the gap. God bless both you and your students; He knows everyone needs it. It certainly sounds as if you're putting in all you've got, so external authority isn't a bad thing to appeal to, I guess.
You're not failing your students — the system has been designed in such a way that success is an aberration. To spin out for a moment....it's a bit remarkable that there was a flash of a moment during the pandemic when it looked like there would be a serious reconsideration about how we work and how we educate (and how we live). Only for the pandemic to end and corporations rushing to pull employees back into offices, politicians banning books, schools fighting for resources, and everyone battling to be paid a wage that is livable as the cost of living skyrocketed. Capitalism is a series of habits and reflexes that don't do well with adjustment. I can only imagine what you're experiencing is due to a domino effect of changes — low staffing, terrible resources, zero social support — within a framework that demands that how things are done remain static. I guess what I'm trying to say is try not to take it all on your shoulders; your care for your students is wonderful, but don't let it be at the expense of your own wellbeing.
I think you're doing a noble thing. All any of us can hope to do is our best, even if circumstances mean that doing our best doesn't give anything near the results we want. And it sounds like you're doing your best - maybe more than that. Good on you. Take care.
❤️ you've not failed at all - thank you for your open heart - it's the best we can do
Update?
I’m almost speechless. I have great admiration for you on many levels and I truly wish I could help. Teaching at university is awesome, but teaching primary or even high school would scare me shitless. So I certainly feel you. I can only hope you make it out alive (not to mention sane). Good luck!